Someday - Celtic woman (Chloe version)

I hope everybody would believe and make these somedays come true,

including me - no exception.

Whatever - Oasis

People say I push and force them but it's not even close now that I have zero
intention to do so. Some people like to use power to push others but I an not
that kind of person at all. That is, to be honest with you, what I hate the
most. I still don't agree I am doing so. Nevertheless, well, it's kind of Right
now that a number of people are saying yet. / said by warren Buffet

My favorite song for five or six years 2000 - 2005/6 and owesome for now

Before September

I am never going to get to any final place.
So, I want to remind myself to relax and start having fun on my way.

Happy birthday to my Mr.Right

Happy Birthday to the most romantic gentleman in the world.

The only thing that I need from you is to live long

so that I can give it back to you that I've received from you

now that that's incredibly a lot. ;)

Happy Happy birthday, Daddy.

it's just temporary

Don't get lost in the diagnosis, the medicine, or in the statistics about what somebody else did about it. If I don't feel good, that's because I am not thinking in a way that makes me feel . I could just get really, really mad at someone I like. And I would ask,"Why do I feel this way?"



Stop looking for anything other than my mental and emotional state as answers to why I feel how I feel in myself.

The thing is..

Everyone thinks they're right. So, the question isn't who's right or who's wrong.
The question is, whose life is really going the best, most of the time.

Diary.

I used to have the diary opened on the desk in order for someone to take a look at it and read what I recently think and want, when I was a child.(for the definition of age) I do still not know there was anybody reading but I remember no one had responded to what I wrote down in the diary meaning that my 'strategy' never worked. (there must've been someone else seeing it but ignored, may not) Although I was not that deligent (ok, I can say 'lazy'), so the date of every page was in distance, when I had what I wanna tell somebody and was in difficulty to find the way how to deliver, I brought a diary on the desk and left the messege. And, got it opened. As I mentioned,

It was not working at all.

I have sometimes communication problem with others. They take sometimes what I don't exactly mean, and then, to make it up, to cover or to get them straight, I gotta make efforts more than a little bit. However, most of the cases are in vain. No matter how I am trying, misunderstanding is just misunderstanding. Hence, I'd rather choose 'writing' despite the fact there're still risks now that I don't need to be in trouble having excuses while I am deliverying something. Well...
I don't believe that I can get someone else to totally understand what I mean and I can understand 100% what others mean, but I wish my communication skill gets better and better yet.

Oh, now and then, we have no choice but writing something to delivery what I wanna tell just like the situation I am facing now. But it seems not working again.

we observe what we think

We all believe Newton's law in the textbook, encyclopedia since it's real law turned out through experiments and here, we can see another experiment which shows us where our thoughts are coming from.

“When observed the electron decided to act differently. It was as if it was aware that it was being watched.” from Dr. Quantum in the Video

The observation is where we place our attention. Based on the conclusions of the double slit experiment, it's so clear that our attention influences the behavior of very tiny particles. And because all matter is made of these tiny particles, we could also say that the behavior of matter is influenced by our observation. In simpler terms, our attention is what holds our world together. Our attention is what creates our physical reality.

“As it thinks of a form, it takes that form; as it thinks of a motion, it makes that motion.” by Wallace D. Wattles

This means that everything we observe has originated from thought - intentionally or unintentionally, consciously or unconsciously. That's why it is so important to become aware of what we are thinking and to only think what we want to think. Our thought is at the source of our current reality. If we are not happy with our current results, then start to create new thought.

Create a new picture, a new image of reality so that the Quantum world can do it's MAGIC.

PS: “If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” (from the video)

Dear my photographer

(I forgot to give you my thank-U earlier, sorry. :D)

Thanks millions for helping me have incredible memories.

When you set the angle with your fingers, you look like a professional photographer

no matter what the photoes say... :p

Hope to have a chance to take pictures of yours in a nearest future.

Brilliant, happy and healthy regards,

what's it about.

It's not about years. It's not about age.
It's not about youth. It's about decline.
And decline is about alignment, or not.
Decline is about, in this moment, which way am I forking?

In this moment, which way am I forking?

In this moment, which way am I forking?

That's all it's about.

Happy birthday to my lady

Mom, Happy birthday to you. I love U I love U I love U

dreams come true 2

It seems like I really want different things, or am even choosing different
paths. But when I both tend to my Emotional Journey, SOMETHING will cleverly
give me both exactly what I want. When I tend to the Emotional
Journey, SOMETHING has the resources and the cleverness to orchestrate
for me what I exactly want even when I think they are opposites
one from another. It's great fun to watch.

"Excuse me, may I know the title of this album? this one, this one, this fabulous melody!!" Seems like it's been a long time ago that I asked what the song is on playing and the answer I could get was "I am sorry, I don't know about this album now that we are just playing MP3 from HQ, Sorry." on_

(I was still OK because at least I know that I can listen to the music if I am there.)

And after 2 days, I visited again and couldn't believe my eyes finding a CD with a title "YOU ARE LISTENING" on the table. Again... my dream comes true.

be a cheerleader for ourselves

I will never do for you that which I know you can do for yourself. I will never rob you of an opportunity to show yourself your ability and talent. I will see you at all times as the capable, effective, powerful creator that you've come forth to be. And I will stand back as your most avid cheerleading section. But I will not do for you that which you have intended to do for yourself. Anything you need from me, ask. I'm always here to compliment or assist. I am here to encourage your growth, not to justify my experience through you.

and I want to do same for myself, too.

[2010.05.16] Lena Park - Columbia Univ. Commencement 2010

I was a very tiny girl and not pretty at all. I had always dreamed that I could
be a kind of outstanding among friends but actually was with zero confidence.
When I heard there would be a singing competition at school, I thought that "Oh,
this might be the chance given by God" and decided to attend the competition
without telling. The day had come and my turn was also getting closer. I
told my friend that I gotta go to the washroom for a while... and what.. my
friend might think strange saying when was the washroom changed to the stage?? what is she doing there? isn't she okay?

Of course, she had a great job and won the competition.
The reason why I use the word "Of course" is the person who I am talking about is Lena park (Park Junghyun), my favorite singer as well as the best R&B singer in Korea (at least nobody would doubt there).



The story in the quotation mark above is what I heard from her at her concert when I was 18 year old girl and it's really unforgettable. And that lady surprises all of us by singing on the stage of her graduation ceremony. Looking at her and Listening to her, I've been touched more than a little bit for some reason.

Congratulation, Lena.

dreams come true

Looking at the dusty window, I felt heavy, suffosticated like that window and shouted in my mind "Can anybody help to clean this?"
And.. I could hardly believe my eyes when I was out after bathing. It was the cleanest window ever thanks to the happy and considerate rain.

To believe is To see

I sometimes feel like Alice in Wonderland, and the reason must be because I don't always believe what I see, but seems I DO see what I believe. Sounds like superstition or fake but realize that my beliefs always precede reality. I and YOU can only see and experience what we believe.









From limiting beliefs that don't support me on the jorney towards my goals in my ability to see character traits in myself that others see as obvious in my ability to perceive solutions to a problem when I am in an unreasourceful or negative state.

warm and cold

Facing emotional problem, I try to think over and over and sometimes reach it's stupid or meaningless. Although the idea makes me embarassed now that I have no idea how to get it back, I know I don't need to think it any more in a way like a machine. On the other hand, how come some people get stuck and seem want to stay? Is that because they are following emotion no matter what the reason behind there?
Do I lack of humane feelings? Or Do others overflow with warmth?

Given I am blamed because of 'that' cold-hearted, do I need feel sorry?
Given I am terribly sorry, do I need to change it or disguise myself?

No need to hurry..
I am still young enough. :D

The emotion I feel is always about the variance between where I want to be and where I am. If I am out of balance, there are only 2 ways to bring myself into alignment - Either raise my expectation to match my desire or lower my desire to match my expectation.

watch it, listen to it.

Sometimes upset, nervous or depressed without special reasons.
And the mood keeps remained and gets me blue and black.
Whatever makes me murmurring and holding even laughing.
Rolling this over, stomach, in the end, gets twisted and the pain is too strong to describe

It's said that I'd better keep wathing it.
Focus on bad mood, Focus on my status not minding the others.
If so, all of a sudden, I might say "ummmmm???"


I've read it,
I've shared it,
I've expericed it though..
I am back to THAT place again that makes me absolutely frustrated,
Let's not try to understand.
just... watch it.

Just watch it.
I'm gonna watch it and listen to it.

When I want to win somebody

If I don't meet resistance with resistance, it dissipates diramatically. It just softens. OK, Let's try it.

Next time somebody says to me "I am right and you are wrong.", I'm gonna say "OKOKOK, you're right. You are right. YOU ARE RIGHT." In other words, I will not mock them. I will not be sarcastic.
After saying "You are right.", watch how, all of a sudden, their legs almost go right out form under them. They will not have any energy to blast me,

because I just took the fuel away from the fire.

flow.

A secret must be somewhere.

Not every time, but when I chase things, they seem run away. When I desperately need something, I get everything except that. Looks like.. whenever I am desperate for anything - for someone to call, for winning lottery, for getting people happy - do I create an energy around myself that pushes it away?
The more emotional I am about things, the less control I have.

How do I avoid being desperate when I am desperate? Naturally.. naturally. Since natural is "balance", it doesn't understand desperation. Of course, I can not be desperate when I am balanced.I do understand what the definition of "Natural" but have yet to go several steps more to be in line with "Natural".

Remember. Let it go, let it flow that doesn't mean I am indifferent there but just I am not forcing things.

OK, reach here, and then..?
let's see.

PS. again, I am terribly sorry for the thing happening this morning. looks like I am as nervous as you are for this special day. let me allow to prepare high-quality tissue paper and deal with it.

All I want

 

Anytime I feel negative emotion, stop and say that SOMETHING is important here, otherwise, I would not be feeling this negative emotion. What's that? And then Simply turn my attention to what I DO want. In the moment I turn my attention to what I want, the negative attraction will stop - I did experience today, kind of experiment - and in the moment the negative attraction stops, the positive attraction will begin.

That's the moment my feeling will change from not feeling good to feeling good.

Be an observer.

Do not give them record, Do not criticise.

The "underdeveloped" country is not inappropriate in any way. It has different desires and different standards, and it is not lesser than -- IT IS JUST DIFFERENT. We did not all come to do it the same way. We did not all come to be alike. We came as a diverse bunch of Energies wanting different experiences.

how do I rediscover my passion.

New year has come, it's 2010. Without exception, the most frequent question I am told these days is about new plan, hope something like the things related with START or DREAM.

Since I took a break last year (no! oh my.. already 2years passed), I've been quite OK - no much stress, concern though, it's toooooo stable and made me remain THERE like the real sleeping bear in Winter. I do not want to say that's not good. However, looking back the previous time, it's so different and funny in a way. Got up every 5am and drove 40-50 min to the office, no much break time during office hours and stayed at office until 1am almost everyday. Despite that kind of terrible (?) life pattern, I'd been looking for the chance to do something others. I read more books than ever, had small trips(my car and camera were just enough), tried to see a lot of people and share our those days and so on. Family and Friends worried and told me I'd better have a rest, need to take good care of me. To be honest with you, I seriously never felt any tiredness and enjoyed there, I even NOW can say same.

AT ONE MOMENT I REACHED,

I suddenly felt everything was enough. (could be little by little) OK, enough and now I keep sitting here. To the suggestions to me such as 'why don't you do this or do that?', I usually say - annoyed (so sometimes I have myself knowing this WORD). If the question is about plan or what I like, seriously nothing comes up except my lovely niece. ;; I am calling this NO Passion, more precisely I lost passion. damn..

Actually many people don't know what they want (as a result of what I asked to more than several people) and they are upset because they are not getting it. how ridiculous and stupid. If we don't know exactly what we WANT, how can we get it. Lots of adults often think they do something everybody expects they to like it. For example, a guy dreamed of sports cars but always bought something practical as he has a family to bring everywhere or a smart student wanted to be a travel guide but became a doctor since the society and parents want him to be something at the higher position. Thought I am different, I don't need to care about the way other people think of me. (especially because my parents never give me any pressure - they always say if you think that's good and that makes you happy, just do it) but.. I might not be different. I have kind of conservative idea although I rarely express that by any means. ALL MIXED.

① I would still want to stay here while my inside feels shame there - Almost 30year old lady does nothing - no marriage, no job. Despite that, my stupid pride could say "you don't need to follow social prejudice, just do what you want." No matter what it is, seems like just against there. @$%^R&*^&%E^@%#TA&R!$%ED(&*

② I don't want to change and be changed. Supposing I am absolutely out of job, how can I start again? A fear seems always around me. (.. this is really shame - found many foreigners go abroad and study+work together without any acquaintances there even though it's not easy, why not 'me'?) $##s&%*tu!#p*#$&*id

Must be more than above 2 reasons why I am saying I lost my passion. well.
Still no much idea hitting me what to do but I will stop murmuring on it at least. Surely it will be in front of me someday sooner or later.

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not the
fish they're after. by Henry David Thoreau.

But the point is.. what.

I have kept saying to the others and even to myself I never do what I don't want to do. Seems applicable everywhere such as office, home, school, in public - all in this society. It could be good and bad but I haven't planned to change that attitude anyway.

One day, one of my friends asked me "Do you like constipation?"

For nearly 5 years, I have been freakingly suffering from constipation (no matter what you guess, that will be more than that) I've tried a lot of solutions which are well known, but all result in failure. Pretty sure there're few people around me who are new to this and I am awfully sick of this. Until I was asked with the question above, I had not noticed of this. How stupid! How I am still stuck in there what I hate for almost 5 years, how can I still say I never do what I don't want to do.

The point is 'what about my inner'.
Easily figure it out that this is good, that is bad out there. However, it's like I have zero idea what 'ME', my inner is asking for myself. It must be very near existing, I didn't get my eyes open or just didn't want to know - ignored.

I am born a wanter. I know wanting is a good thing and I'd like to 'want' as much as I can meaning there's no limitation. I absolutely know well wanting is a very good thing.
Let's find out one by one.