Just do it.

Checked gmail box and found a suspicious note from one unknown sender with a title of "I found him in the pool struggling under water". Still no idea it came through which route. However, it's namely given me something.

Today I experienced every parents nightmare...

I walked out to the pool and
saw my 4 year old son struggling under water in the pool. My instincts kicked in
and I leapt into the water to pull him up.What an absolutely horrible
feeling.I'm so thankful that I walked out there when I had... a few moments
later and he might not be here right now.

This incident reminded me just how
fragile life can be.I hope that you have a great holiday season... I hope that
you spend time with your friends and family...And most importantly, I hope that
you'll do your best to live your life each and every day to it's fullest.Don't
let pain control your life any more...

Make the decision right now to take your
life back. You CAN do it and we can help you!

Don't let excuses stand in your way
any more... enough isenough! You are a powerful human being and you can
livewithout pain...You just need to decide you are going to and then take
action...NOTHING can stop you but you.Anyway...

Happy holidays... and I'll see
you in a few days with a bunch of great new stuff that I've been working on for
you :)

Jesse

Feels like it's from Santa. (Oh... you are late 2 days, LoL)
Say yes to whatever it is.

Because if I say yest to it and then I get in the middle of it, and I say "Oh, this is not really turning out the way I wanted it to," then out of that is born another desire. And as I say yes to that, then it turns out.
And I say, "Well, it's still not quite right." So I have another desire. Until eventually I get it exactly right. I can not get it wrong. No creation is ever complete. Just to it.

make it mine

Make a decision of what I want, give my attention there, find the feeling place of it -- and I am there instantly. There is no reason for me to suffer or struggle my way to or through anything.

I am sorry.

Especially when listening to New Age music, I am pretty surprised with their 'special ability' to name the song. Still remember, with a cold wind and peace in the park, the melody through the ear-phone to my ear and the title through my gom-pod to my eyes were exactly matched and really astonished at that time. Wow, wow, Steve is really genius.(as well as handsome -_-)

I am usually stuck in expressing what I feel using whatever language. I don't need to be precise for my emotion or feeling but sometimes I am eager to deliver how I Do feel now .. got stuck.:( Neither I know why I want to express my feeling nor why I am stuck there. Anyway, this makes me envy the persons like Steve very much. I also envy the people who are in tears in front of drawing. Although I believe I am a sort of enjoying 'art' people, still not enough.

* I am not saying I am not satisfied with that, just I envy the others. uuuuuuuuu, greedy greedy.

Actually, I brought the title 'I am sorry' for my friend to say I am sorry. I need remain absolutely calm and self-possessed but seems I need more learning and practice. Even though I just said I am not good at expressing myself, I admit that It was Rush of mine to say so before. I am sorry and I am sorry. Every second, I notice and realize and learn a lot from you and your story. I'd like to learn how to listen well more. :)

Thank you.
Take good care of you, please.

Hangnail.

Hangnails suddenly caught my eyes and became very annoying, so I raised them high so that I could easily take those away and I did chew away. Bleeding and painful and painful and painful. After sucking up blood, found that there's a wound and pain remained still.

I see the problem gives me pains.
I see the problem has solutions or not.
I know the solution helps me.
I know the solution hurts me.
I am happy after the helpful solution.
I am ached after the injurious solution.

I can be happy and ached by what I apply to myself.

1 day passed but still feel ached.

Dear my friend,

Everything is running around in a circle.

When you talk about your mother with negative ideas, there's a thought "Why don't you TRY to understand your mom as you already know she will not change or can not be changed anyhow? in my mind. Like you said that's enough. You've tried to help her to recognize how important it is to think good and positive as well as love herself but seems it's not working well. We have to be noticed that Each people have its own different idea or concept. We can introduce, We can encourage, We can support. But we can not change them. Even though they are changed with a lot of our efforts, that's not what we change them but what they change themselves by getting helps from us.

Much to the interests, we are in ACCORD with the idea where physical diseases come from. They come from How to think. So you believe that your mother calls and attracts that disease to ask for the attention and love towards her. Yes, you definitely know the answer. What about just giving a willing consent there? You may give her attention as much as she wants and you can do pay. Are you afraid that she will ask for it someday again if you do that now? Moreover supposing it really happens, you would be sick of the situation and possibly not love her more?

Well, as you usually say, FOLLOW your feeling then by focusing NOW. You spend much time as well as your precious energy on thinking why it happened again and sighing. Why don't you use that resource to correspond to her requests? That's neither because you are her son nor she wants. That's needed for you to stay fine (at least not anxious, frustrated).

You do take care of others well. Do you think that's because you would like to make them happy? No my friend, that's because you would feel happy by letting them happy. You are the main reason for that. Accomplishment, Confidence whatever it is. Imagine Santa Claus. (Let's say they exist.) Being around everywhere to delivery Xmas present, what if they are not happy? what if they just feel bored and tired? Can they keep working or acting as Santa? Because they like the JOB, Santa can still exist in Children's dream and imagination. I believe and it's true that you are THAT SANTA who enjoys having the JOB, aren't you?

You may say "hey, what do you know? you never understand me." Absolutely! One can never understand Another. However, I don't see any problem just to give you a try. This could be ignored, I will not care as I am inspired while I leave a note here.

Honestly, I hesitated before this note. You know I am telling you please try to understand and accept your mom, why can't you do so? And.... how about me? My question is back to me saying "why don't you understand and accept what your friend said and thinks?"

Everything is running around in a circle.
It could be like a wheel on which we must step very hard but how about converting it?
We can feel like we are in the amusement part having MERRY-GO-AROUND.

Happy regards,

stay fine and funny

Even though I haven't even tried to open the bible until now, I know that Jesus Christ asked his disciples "Can you extend one single day of your life by worrying so? "

The more I am in the principle of relativity, the more the word gets interesting.

If yes, trouble - If no, trouble

My life is about my relationships. You will never find yourself in a point in time when the subject of relationships is not an active part of your now experience, for everything you perceive or notice or know is because of your relationship with something else. Without a comparative experience, you would be unable to perceive or focus any kind of understanding within yourself.

Therefore, it is accurate to say that without relationships you could not exist at all.

a word

That's the word. The word itself doesn't know where it is now on now that words are to deceive, to exaggerate. We are affected very much by words that are from human beings as well as extremely simple when it's word itself like a personal pronoun, an adverb, and verb or an adjective. We are affected by watching the words distract our emotion with a irresistible force. Even nerves are smashed through. -at Blindness by Jose Saramago.

The Power of Now 2

Have you ever experienced, done, thought, or felt anything outside the NOW? Do
you think you ever will? Is it possible for anything to happen or be outside the
Now? The answer is obvious, isn't it?

Nothing every happened in the past;
it happened in the Now.

Nothing will every happen in the future; it will
happen in the Now.

What you think of as the past is a memory trace,
stored in the mind, of a former Now. When you remember the past, you reactivate
a memory trace - and you do so now. The future is an imagined Now, a projection
of the mind. When the future comes, it comes as the Now. When you think about
the future, you do it now. past and future obviously have no reality of their
own. Just as the moon has no light of its own, but can only reflect the light of
the sun, so are past and future only pale reflections of the light, power and
reality of the eternal present. Their reality is "borrowed" from the Now.

- page 50 in The power of now by Eckhart Tolle

I have suffered from a guilty conscience because even though I am definitely aware of the power of now, I am too focusing on the past which has been done and passed being stuck in a special mood (something not good).

However, I will not be conscience-stricken more.
Because that kind of feeling is also against My Now. :D

The power of now

Like when I look up the sky,
Like when I drink fresh strawberry milk,
Like when I watch over the great night view,
Like when I take a sticker photo,
Like when I drive during cloudy and windy,
Like when I listen to love affair piano solo,
Like when I cry without any reason,
Like when I hold a cup of hot chocolate feeling cold,
Like when I feel the wind blowing towards me,
Like when I smell the very good smell of rich coffee,
Like when I happen to meet Christmas carol,

Like that.

Because I am so sure..

I am surrounded by unaccountable people caring me.
That makes me blue because I am so sure...

No words for it, I love you

waste on justifying and pursuading

No matter what the event is, I don't need to justify how come I don't feel good and I don't need to justify how come I should feel differently. I don't need to blame whatever it is I think the reason is that's keeping me from feeling good.

All of that is wasted effort. Normally we think, to find out this root cause there, we would try not to be there, but reflecting my case, it happens more and more since it's already memorized somewhere within me regardless of the efforts I try not to do with.
Just try to feel better RIGHT NOW.

With that better feeling, sometimes we act too much. ;)
Even in my rightness about a subject, when I try to push my rightness toward another who disagrees, no matter how right I am, it causes more pushing against. In other words, it is not that any real allowing of what I want can take place until I stop pushing.

My friend who is a teacher in a middle school has a issue-making student in her class. She has spent a lot of efforts on giving him her care by saying it's not good to skip the class, it's not good to smoke, you'd better be in time at school @@@@. Even after almost 1 term, he was not changed. She felt sick and tired of it and she told him

"If you think your acting is right and OK, just do it. I will not care you more no matter what you do, all are up to you. From now on, I will hand off from you. "

For a few of days after that, he was not shown even at school but his teacher, my friend did not contact him. He came to her 4 days later and he told her that "Teacher, I had thought it's free to skip the school and do smoke and so on and so on.... because school looks like jail and I'm like a prisoner. So I was trying to be against no matter what you say. However, now I realize it's not and understand why you did so to me. Sorry and thanks"

She spent more than 4 months on teaching him but it was in vain.
He spent 4 days on being aware of where he stands and he got it.
Teaching and Understanding is nothing to do with the time, the point is are we ready or not.

what the bleep do we know

Everything is vibrational. "I'm letting it in or I'm not. And I'm using lots of things as my excuse to let it in, or as my excuse not to let it in." But it's all vibrational. Otherwise, we should be able to take 100 people, give them all identical exposure to experience, and get identical results. And you can't do that. You'd get 100 different results, and you'd get several big differences in results.

# watched last year being aware of nothing and watched again being aware of a little and will watch again and again taking it as mine
# will have post-posts on this. very interesting. And again, I'm proud of myself majoring in Physics.

Truth can also be variable

Physical humans are saying, "Give me the truth, give me the truth." forever. Seems that there are all kinds of truths and we can choose the truths that serve us.

There are many people feeling great discomfort with that. But the thing that we need to hear about it is, There is a truth of cancer, and there is a truth of wellness. Which truth serves us? I can activate either of them within myself, and make it my truth. Truths are created as they are not static. They are not conditions that exist that then it is your obligation to identify and catalog. I am the creator of my truths as I told before every body's true is different and that true is not the truth - and what I am living s my truth.

Birds are stupid? that'd be better.

Speaking of DUCKS, fighting or argument between themselves, it doesn't last long and they say good bye and leave for each direction right after that. On the way, they claps intensely their wings. That's their way to emit the energy which they have built in themselves during fighting. Surprisingly, - no idea they had little capacity to remember something or emitted all that energy - they look peaceful after clapping wings.

If they are not ducks but human beings like us (like me), they will say -

"I really don't understand, she didn't consider me at all by thinking this pond is owned by herself only.I would never trust her now that it's for sure she will pick me on another time. Let's see."

Keep making the story and it is hanging around the brain over and over.

With that thought, it will generate some energy which is called as EMOTION. And it seems the emotion helps to generate many thoughts again even though there's nothing occurring. All are just MADE and GUESSED. It's all about PAST and FUTURE, there's no PRESENT.

Do we have difficulties to let PAST go? Or Don't we want to let PAST go?

Past itself in our memory seems no problem - like when we look at funny picture even with our ex-boyfriend or friend who just argued with me, we can laugh and feel good because of that memory. Also past in memory is good when it comes to improvement on the wrong and mistake. The problem is that the memory is changed to the concern or worry that will make us in prison of mind. We should not live in the mind by making ridiculous movies, See where I am in now. Nothing can help NOW which happened in past.

Just stay now, stay now.

# we usually play a joke to somebody stupid by saying you are like a bird, how can you forget it easily? well.. if it's nothing to do with vocabulary, grammar, $#%$&^!&, that would be better. #

it's not my fault, just I receive it.

The only thing that makes the difference in the way I feel right now is the thought that I am thinking right now. It doesn't matter how many lucks I have got, there are joyful people with no luck (like lottery or something). How I feel is about how I am allowing the source that is I to flow.

So when I talk about the Art of Allowing, I am talking about the Art of Living, about the Art of Thriving, about the Art of Clarity.

I am talking about the ART of being who I really am.

A "Don't Want" Feed the attention

I don't want to have a cold, I don't want to meet any bad luck, I don't want to work with him, I don't want to see birds.

When we make plans or when we say about 'want', we usually use 'NOT' for emphasizing. This works a lot For emphasizing. The more we use 'NOT', the more we pay attention on that 'NOT'. Look at the children, when we advise or scold with "Don't do this, Don't do that." They will not easily stop doing those things, because the activity emphasized itself has been reminded.

A "Don't Want" Feeds the Attention. The Universe always gives us what we want, even when we 'don't want' it. The Mind Doesn't Compute "Don't Want"
When I don't want something I have to become aware of it. I have to know what it is and be conscious of it so I can steer my attention away from it as fast as possible.

Unfortunately, most of us don't do this. For example, if I said, "don't think of the color blue," what happens? We thought of the color blue. Why did we think of the color blue even though I told not to? We thought of the color blue so that we could distinguish those colors that are not blue.

Distinguishing a 'don't want' can be a little tricky. It's very subtle. I need to pay attention to my thoughts. Most people aren't aware they place their attention on the very things they don't want.
How to Stop Attracting the "Don't Want"
A simple way to stop attracting "don't wants" is to recognize what we're currently attracting into our life. Are we attracting: - People we don't trust? - An unhealthy body? - More debt?

By recognizing the people, circumstances and conditions I am attracting, I am hot on the trail of a "don't want." Once I realize that I created it I can then refocus my attention on what I DO want. This is easier said than done, but I will not say that's difficult.


I want to be healthy, I want to have all good luck, I want to work this guy, I want to see bears.

After exercising, over and over

The next day of hard exercising, especially climbing mountain, we normally feel painful or ached since all the muscles which have not been working consistently are surprised with the change. But those people who keep exercising in their normal life, it rarely occurs. Because it's not a change to them.

This is not only for the muscle I realized today.

Creative ideas or intuition are also like a muscle - especially 'creativeness'.
If I don't use it, it gets weak and can not do heavy lifting for me. But If I start to use it and continually work it, it starts to get strong enough where like a real muscle I can pick it up. I can literally pick up on things, because I have the strength to do it.

-on the day that I had an interview with a coach working with Jack Canfield.

How to jump start a day

Lately it's difficult to wake up without feeling tiredness while I was absolutely like a superman despite a few of hour sleep - morning person. I thought that's for I am being aged which is natural. However, what if that's because I don't want to start a day? um.. The moment that I am focused on what is not happy and how tired I am is seriously terrible which is I never want. :S


Although I absolutely believe it's an unchangeable truth that SLEEP is the very important activity for our vital life, I can not say it's not related with the mood or feeling towards of the day. After that thought, I was suddenly feeling full of energy forgetting the tiredness and reminding me of the last time I did something greatly exciting with my precious niece.
The point is that I am able to redirect my thinking and pull together the appropriate resources.

What am I most grateful for in my life today?
Who can I compliment today?
What am I most passionate about in life?
How can I learn and grow today?

Remember, in those last few moments, right before waking up.
I can choose how my day is going to be.

Inevitable

Find THOUGHTS which make me FEEL good now that it is inevitable that I be going always to move toward something. If so, If I am not able to avoid, Why not be moving toward something pleasing? I can not cease to vibrate, and law of attraction and my gorgeous universe will not stop responding to the vibration that I offer. I provide it in a way whether I do know, or not.

The only question is what is the standard of JOY that I am demanding for myself.
More than the question, I hope I would be in the status which I don't need to search for that standard as my spirit is already aware of that.

World Peace 2

World Peace for the people who hate Wars, Fight, Battles will never come.
World Peace for the people who love Peace will come sooner or later.

What am I feeling now

Close my eyes and try to be conscious of what I am thinking now. @.@ Too many thoughts are crossing over on the black and white canvas. Just now on this post, the spelling is correct? what words can be proper? Blah blah lalah.. To make them true or particular, I have to use my brain which doesn't usually work for the history something. :$

Close my eyes and try to be conscious of what I am feeling now. Blank. Honestly it's more than blank. The word 'feeling' is frequently and easily I use when I talk. However, when I only focus the feeling I have at the moment, it's not easy to tell. Happy? Joyful? Sad? Angry? Can those words be enough to describe my feeling now? It could be. But I 'feel' something is still missing there, it must be because I 'think' too much. Anyway, I know those are all from my emotions or mood where I am in.

One of my friends has his first overseas flight which we call 'his new world'. When the chance came to him, he hesitated to take it or not meaning that he used 'thought' with his brain. 'AN Emotion' has suddenly brought him to do so by saying "Don't think too much, do you want to go? do you feel that you wanna go?" Oh Gosh, "Yes, I do, I do want to go." No thinking behind of the answer, just he followed what his feeling said. I am proud of him very much. (Cheers)

Of course it's simple.
Be careful that, simple doesn't mean easy. That is why I am in happy studying and training for myself. ;) During the study and training, I've Lately been in a happy dilemma that is it's very good to know a lot of ideas on staying good as well as I'm very confused between my old idea and the new fresh.

No matter what,
There is no right or wrong way to tell my story. It can be about my past, present, or future experiences. The only important criteria is that I be conscious of my intent to tell a better feeling, improved version of my story. Telling many good feeling short stories throughout my day will change my point of attraction. Just remember that the story I tell is the basis of my life. So.. Tell it the way I want it to be.

I can touch the crowd but I don't need affecting by the crowd.

"Nice to see you. Although it's the first time to see you, I'd like to tell you you have the very favorable impression. You look good."

I found a smiling guy at the dry atmosphere by which I was almost swallowed up. In spite of the first time, he was the most comfortable to me. By the way, when I said that, another guy next to him told "He should be happy and smile as he doesn't have a lot of working to do." Seemed everybody agreed to that and they laughed. I don't know exactly how much working he has but I do know that's not because of that.

"I think he could be free from the working as he is happy. He is still happy with the amount of working. So following job is reluctant to reach him. But you guys, you look unhappy, so working thinks you need more and more to be happy. That's why there's never-ending working approaching you."

Not sure they heard that or not since they kept laughing at the nice guy who has little working.(zero idea how come they laughed at him, are they jealous or something? What if there's only 1 person who works a lot with a drawn face? The crowd mind affects the feeling too much. :@)

No matter what, it's true the smiling guy will not have more works that now as long as he stays happy. Me neither. ;)

True and Truth

Focus to make my own TRUTH not the true made or defined by other people or environment.

We have beliefs through the life experience. Some beliefs get us stuck in the pattern that is an obstacle to our taking wish. Even though those beliefs or faiths are not A help at all, many people stay there and support that. Because that's what they believe as true.

Think about babies. They have less experiences that adults (of course we've been through the period of babies). They always ask and express how they feel and what they need with all ways that they can do. But as growing, babies also see more and hear more and feel more. In the end, most of them are surrounded by the trues which were not created by themselves like us.
It's so shame.

Actually it doesn't say that they are related with my owns existing and to happen later,because others create their true in their way. In the world, there are innumerable trues including some that I have made and don't wish. No need frustrated because of the true. Since this is my life, I need my truth for my life.

The clearer I need to see what I am wishing, what I am asking, the faster and the more my truth will be built so that I can stay happy and nice.


Stereo type or Prejudice is not only for Black and White / Man and Woman also My thought and Others' thought.

The people

The people who make me like to listen to their everything.
The people who make me like to talk about my everything to them.
Both.

Strong wish

Wish and do not stay there. Just let it flow.
Our wish is Universe's command - Universe will feedback in a way if it takes it as our wish.

To remain thinking is a kind of symbol that I have a doubt or concern even a little. If I perfectly believe it will happen anytime, no need to stick to of the wish. Because no matter what It will take place.

Important thing is Wish, not think or concern. Yes, it is.

A dumb fish

I was introduced a book written by Mr. Fish saying how was Mr.Fish's life for 230days in US after laid off in Korea. This book is categorized as travel journal group but rather be Diary-Non fiction. Exciting. (Thanks HJ)

Some pages tell me his English is not bad, others tell me he had a trouble to live in US due largely to English.

#In NY, a big black shouted "Fucking garbage tourists, keep your ass at home all day long with the fucking terrible English".
He was surprised and looked around. What a shame... only him there. He has no idea it's to him otherwise the black was just upset and talked himself. Anyway he was also not comfortable with those fucking words. he shouted back with the hip-hop musicians' name that he knows all. The black was standing there saying nothing but seemed embarrassed enough. Mr.Fish just wants to let him know He is not fucking garbage tourists by speaking out the alphabet.#

By going through those experiences, he was seriously tired and sick of using English. Sometimes I feel same when having the conversation in English (Personal & Business), if I am surprised, embarrassed or insane, suddenly every alphabet is out of my brain and mouth. Nothing goes to my ears, nothing comes out from my mouth. Here's the similar Mr.Fish's story.

[Only 4 days from the start make me totally exhausted and depressed in
spirits. It seems I would be never able to see Dead-End and the desolate plain
next to the road jumps to my loneliness. Particularly it was L.A.N.G.U.A.G.E
that makes me tired at the lightening speed.
Ask the way as I may, Order
foods in a restaurant as I may, Nobody understood my English and they even
ignored me. The more I was isolated, the more I can not deliver what I want to
others. Although people say "No", I was becoming a fool. In the end, I didn't
want to talk to anybody longer. No matter what, they never catch my words.

When I arrived at Barsto located at the end of East-California,
darkness fell upon the city.
I had no time to spare and just entered the
motel found first. Without greeting, I torn a note and wrote "Any room
available?" and showed him at the desk. He looked at me weird and said Yes but
still seemed against me since my action was quite strange. Asked me again "Are
you alone?" I wrote down "Yes, I'm alone" by using the note. After a while, a
big lady came out and stole a glance at me. They talked to each other, I
couldn't understand but I knew they were talking about me. -_-


I put down again and thrust it before their eyes.

"I can not speak but listen. I would like to stay here one night of my
travel now. How much does it cost?"

They finally got it and gave me a warm smile and... poured words like 'felt
strange since you don't talk, where do you come from, where are you going to,
are you alone, blah blah.. ' All the questions were answered by notes written by
me. It seems they were excited to experience that situation like soap opera.. so
kept asking me. :'( Fortunately they found me looked tired and gave me a room
key.

They provided me with the room at the unbelievably cheap price and the
mildest smile for good night. When I arrived at the door, I found there's a
sticker for the handicapped. The room was big enough for every wheel-chair can
pass through and has a big bathroom. I deceived the old couple by saying nothing
with my selfishness. In spite of that fact, I didn't have a guilty
conscience. I was so tired that I forgot how to speak. ]

Not only English.
Even though I use my mother tongue, writing is much better than speaking. So do I. Some talks that I have a difficulty to speak directly rather be delivered in written. I do that a lot and have thought why, why, why. And my answer is... I just don't want to face the immediate response after my talk. At least for me, it is kind of foul play.

I will learn again how to speak.
I will learn how to face.

How to speak

On reflection, I have not been that bad, I mean my situation or could be my life.
I can do everything I want and I don't need to do anything I don't want.
However, this vacation has made me think that what I knew is seriously a little and there's technically nothing I have well-known.

Therefore, I have to learn everything from the very beginning.
How to speak not like my style I have used,
How to eat what I have been reluctant to eat,
How to neatly fold clothes ,
How to cleanly put away bedding,
How to efficiently unpack the luggage,
Everything I have to learn from the very beginning.

I have been tangled in a wreck like the wires located around PC and peripheral devices there.
I am a bit afraid now that I think I need to do that for myself while palpitating with the new learning in front of me.

World Peace

A musician named Kim has mentioned before on the TV show "My hope and wish is WORLD PEACE." The interviewer was back with laughing and asked "Are you serious?" Mr. Kim said that

" If Everyone wishes eagerly WORLD PEACE with all their heart, It is not the super-future story, it would already come true. Because people is not seriously taking the peace of world where they live as their own, it is still in the water. Everyday, Everybody says "I wish world peace." at least one time, it must be going to come true, I have no doubt there."

Farting in the elevator

I met this funny story on middle school days but still remember, it ROCKS.

In an elevator,

˚ Ooops, Embarrassment。

Elevator is crowded with a lot of people but the gas is about to be released expected to be very stinky.

˚ Thanks God, Fortune。

Before farting, all the people get off the elevator.

˚ Wow, Indescribable Joy。

Fresh farting with peace of mind.

˚ What a shame, Shame。

Before the smell is gone, another gets on.

˚ Save me, Pain。

'That' another breaks wind - killer farting

˚ Hey you, Anger。

'That' farting guy neglects his farting and his smell.

˚ Lonely, Solitude。

After the farting guy gets off, I smell still his trace.

˚ No, Mortification。

Another gets on before the stinky disappeared and makes frown on her face.

˚ No No, Resentment。

With finger point, a boy tells his mother "Mom, he must have farted"

A Blubber

[8] I am 8 years old.
On the bus No.12, pretended to be cool, I was ready to get off the bus late and I missed my stop by due and I stepped out of the bus at the next stop which is the last stop of the journey. On the way to be back home by following the way bus went through, I kept crying with a beast sound ' WOO-ANG WOO-ANG'. It was absolutely the tears driven by fears. (I must have spent the spare money for taking a junk food in front of the school..)

[18] I am 18 years old.
Prepared for the chorus festival for almost half year. I was not the professional vocalists and had no idea on the chorus. But I just liked to sing and it's very interesting to tune the music with others. So I enjoyed preparing for our festival. Getting an Encore after the last song, we hugged each other and cried by encouraging "Good Job". It was unexpected tears driven by Joy and Happiness.

[24] I am 24 years old.
Before completing the graduation point, I jumped into the society having job which was more sudden than a shower. On the very 1st day, I cried in front of a dormitory housemother and in the train. It was never stopping tears driven by fright and resistance. (Since then, 3 months I had cried in the bathroom - stupid tears)

[27] I am 27 years old.
A project was on myself which was absolutely beyond my capability, I felt. On the biz trip for that (it's like disaster / adventure) Delay of 1st flight, Inspection of the customs, Missing of 2nd flight. I was anxious and nervous all the time. I don't remember exactly how we did but in a way we made it on plan. Releasing all the anxiety and having a little achievement, I drank a lot (Gao Liang Jiu) and cried and cried and cried driven by... what??.


[now] I am just 29 years old.
I found me that was hidden for a long time (hidden too deeply, even I didn't know where to hide). Finding myself made me crying like a tap which is out of order although I tried not to show the others that. It was the tears, my real tears.

Genuine and Fake

I happened to find an interesting test provided by BBC whose title is "Spot the fake smile". I Got 15 points out of 20. Although this is nothing to do with IQ thing, I noticed that people having this test are eager to get the higher score. Me? Not different. I am not disappointed with the score but supposing I get 20 points almost, I would be more than happy. ;)

My focusing point was LIPS of the people smiling as I don't forget hearing when people smile fake, the right side of lips is a little higher than left one at the mean time I was pretty happy now that I found myself being not able to get the right side of lips higher than left - stupid, but true.. hehe - Hence, when I couldn't figure it out easily during this test, I paid attention to their lips. But seems it's not perfectly matching (turned it out my stupid thought previously was shame shame, what a shame.. LoL) Anyway, I got a note from BBC checking the result. It's very interesting.

「Most people are surprisingly bad at spotting fake smiles. (There are 10 genuine and 10 fake / I was wrong with 2 genuine / 3 fake) One possible explanation for this is that it may be easier for people to get along if they don't always know what others are really feeling. Although fake smiles often look very similar to genuine smiles, they are actually slightly different, because they are brought about by different muscles, which are controlled by different parts of the brain. Fake smiles can be performed at will, because the brain signals that create them come from the conscious part of the brain and prompt the zygomaticus major muscles in the cheeks to contract. These are the muscles that pull the corners of the mouth outwards.

Genuine smiles, on the other hand, are generated by the unconscious brain, so are automatic. When people feel pleasure, signals pass through the part of the brain that processes emotion. As well as making the mouth muscles move, the muscles that raise the cheeks – the orbiculares oculi and the pars orbitals – also contract, making the eyes crease up, and the eyebrows dip slightly. Lines around the eyes do sometimes appear in intense fake smiles, and the cheeks may bunch up, making it look as if the eyes are contracting and the smile is genuine. But there are a few key signs that distinguish these smiles from real ones. For example, when a smile is genuine, the eye cover fold - the fleshy part of the eye between the eyebrow and the
eyelid - moves downwards and the end of the eyebrows dip slightly.」

Without any idea towards another's thought, we may seriously easily get along with them as we don't need to afraid of the feedback following like babies. They think they are a center of the universe. They locate themselves at the main position of every case. But adults like us think too much about the others' thinking. It could be because they don't want to hurt or they don't want to be hurt or blamed.

Given we focus on ourselves, it must be even easier to get along with people around us.

Should is only applicable for

Breathing, Eating, Wearing, Sleeping, Laughing, Making Boooooo. Nothing but those can not challenges people with 'Should' which gets us feel a burden and responsibility.

In spite of the point that Making boo has been included in the list for 'should', the following paragraphs are nothing to do with my constipation.

I feel suffocated like a elastic string that is unstretchable more, like a balloon that is about to burst. It's similar to the feeling when I eat nothing whole day, when I take a deep and tough breath after a full-speed running. Repeated pressing questions, life with low spirits for nothing in place for a long time is not easy to be called different. However,

It's enough that we put the self down like the string snapped and the balloon exploded. Once stopping thinking "we have to do something, Every effort goes with each result, we can get back to normal like comfortable breathing and blood-pressure.

The thing I feel difficult has been this situation or Me, myself who feel uncomfortable. The less we think, the more it's helpful and beneficial sometimes.

Unhappy means Punishment.

The past is over and done. We can not change that now. Yet we can change our thought about the past. How foolish for us to punish ourselves in the present moment because someone hurt us in the long ago past.

If we choose to believe we are helpless victims and that it's all hopeless, then the Universe will support us in that belief, and we will just go down the drain. It is vital that we release these foolish, out-moded, negative ideas and beliefs that do not support us and nourish us.

Recently, I have been very focusing on How to be free from the anger. I try to keep me affirmed and approved what I study and feel but I still face that, more often than before. This must because I am on the progress to be healed. Try and Error and I will take what I want in the end.

From the very young, I've not liked Punishment, I Love Praise and Happiness. ;)

never go beyond getting angry

「By giving up, I mean deciding, "It's all hopeless and impossible to make any changes, so why try?" The rest of it goes, "Just stay the way you are. At least you know how to handle that pain. You don't like it, but it is familiar, and you hope it won't get any worse."

To me, habitual anger is like sitting in a corner with a dunce cap on. Does this sound familiar? Something happens, and you get angry. Something else happens, and you get angry again. Something else happens, and you get angry again. Something else happens, and once again you get angry. But you never go beyond getting angry.

What good does that do? It is a foolish reaction to waste your time only getting angry. It's also a refusal to perceive life in a new and different way. It would be much more helpful to ask yourself how you are creating so many situations to get angry at.

what are you believing that causes all these frustrations? What are you giving out that attracts in others the need to irritate you? Why do you believe that to get your way you need to get angry? Whatever you give out comes back to you. The more you give out anger, the more you are creating situations for you to get angry at, like sitting in a corner with a dunce cap on, getting nowhere.」p41-You can heal your life by Louise L.Hay

I've talked with "please do not say sorry" at be my gomnara around 3 months ago that
"Why do you get angry? you just want to let them know you are angry? or you'd like to hear 'sorry'?" Anger brings another anger. (an old saying is never wrong) ‥ The next step of being angry is being angry again or awkward situation. Nothing I can take from my anger. ‥‥‥ I am now training myself. I am now trying to calm me down when I feel I want to have the pouts .

"Hey, I know you want to become sulky. But, you know what! It's of no good, fruitless. In place of any nice result, you will get a lot of bothers which you need to deal with accordingly. I know well because I have done that a lot."

Given I let my stupid pride go, I can absolutely be out of a vicious circle.

Wording is not just wording.
Everything can become true, that's why wording can be existing.
I believe so.

It's not difficult to say "That's OK", and then?

Right after "I'm sorry", my automatic answer is following, "That's OK." And then, I am sometimes at a loss for words as I have no idea what would be my next action? The best thing that I can do could be a smile, f.o.r.c.e.d smile.

Very awkward.

No need to make that kind of heavy atmosphere. Now that I say "That's OK", we don't need to have anything uncomfortable between both at least. Already that matter is out of my head. However, I'm still anxious about that and struggling for my next. I am the key person to make up for the atmosphere. The more I keep the awkward silence, the more another feels difficult to deal with the situation. Especially with my lovely family (or very close acquaintances)...

Fully aware that this sucks and makes me in trouble in the end. Whenever I face that, I do auto suggestion 'No need, No need, this is never good for you, you can not get anything by doing this'. Sometime working, but still I need more practice (weird using the word - practice, anyway). I've tried to find the root cause for that and so far the answer from me is P.R.I.D.E.

Honestly speaking, it took a lot of time for me to admit I am too proud and try to keep it. I had denied that. On the way to put me down and release all the bad from myself, I start accepting that and finally did it.

I know I'm a girl of great self-respect. I do not want to say this is not good, but when it comes to those things that are absolutely not related with the pride, can I just let it go? I have lots of cases to show my pride still by doing a greatly amazing job ever.

Newton's third of Motion

Several days ago, I tried to apply Physics theory to our life by referring Quantum physics. I had been stuck in the idea - Classic physics is not related with it, if it is, we must have the opposite response when we attract something "(+) draws (-), (-) draws (+)". But, Newton's law suddenly hits me this morning and I was definitely wrong, it's not "Nothing".

「For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.」

This is not totally different idea with my previous post in regards to responding. When we do something, that will be reacted in a way. I mean that what we give out, we get back - life is really simple. What we think about ourselves becomes the truth for us. Everybody is responsible for everything in our lives, the best and the worst. Every thought we think is creating our future. Each one of us creates our experiences by our thoughts and our feelings. The thoughts we think and the words we speak creat our experiences. We create the situations, and then we give our power away by blaming the other person for our frustration. No person, no place, and nothing has any power over us, for "we" are the only thinkers in our minds, we will find it in our lives. To the one, I can think either 'My boss is out to get me,If I think 'My boss neither appreciate to me nor understand me.' or 'My boss always treats me with respects and courtesy.' My boss is always helpful'. Each one of these thoughts will creat quite different experiences. What we believe about ourseleves and about life becomes true for us.

Understanding with Listening

It's not that easy to find the person not only listening also hearing well. Seems humans like to talk about theirs or attract the attention to themselves. At the beginning of the talk, they pay their attention on the talk well but as time goes by, they feel tired of the talk and no attention they give more. However, we keep hearing and try to give some responses based on our understanding since we also have the nature to be good. By the response, the person talking would feel strange or regrettable - "That's not what I talked to you." -

A dictionary says "Listen to" is GIVE ONE'S ATTENTION TO THEM OR IT, when hearing.

We, people easily say "I understand what you are talking about." And those people easily take it true when the other people say "Understand" that entraps themselves. I will not say everybody is same there but at least I and a number of people around me do so. To understand the situation, we try to assimilate ourselves to that situation in case that we don not have the same(similar) experience. In order to do so, Listen to the TALK we have to at least. Regardless of how much attention we give to the talk, thinking at the same situation is seldom possible now that we are all different types of the persons. OK, let's say we have the same experience like we were picked on by the class mates. A friend listens to my story and gives me a feedback "Totally understand since I have the experience 3 years ago. Cheer up, it's just a tiny thing of this huge universe. After some time you will be released and forget it soon, you need to help yourself... blah blah blah.. " I would think what on earth are you talking about? I'm more than painful and I thought you could understand me. How dare you can say it's a tiny thing! I have a difficulty to breath because of that. My friend just tried to give me some cheers and help, no bad intention behind as my friend thought she understands the situation based on her experience.

Probably, that's why we usually say that we need the person who just listens to me without any advice or opinion. Moreover, it's more than happy to have a conversation deeply by exchanging their own ideas for sure. I am still learning.

I know here must be too many contradictions, but this is the very KEY for the relationship. TALK.

Is TALK a illness or a medicine?

No doubt Talking is so important of the relationship between persons. The more we talk to each other, The closer we can be to each, The more we understand whatoever. However, Is seriously TALK always good? is it possible that "The more we talk, The more we get hurt by that true that really happened or the lie that we are decieved with."?

All of the energies are responding.

「How often have we said,"That's the way I am," or "That's the way it is" Those specific words are really saying that that's what we believe to be true for us. Usually, what we believe is only someone else's opinion we have incorporated into our belief systems. No doubt it fits right in with all the other things we believe.

Are you one of the many people who will get up in the morning see that it's raining, and say, "Oh, what a lousy day!"? It is not a lousy day. It is only a wet day. If we wear the appropriate clothing and change our attitude, we can have a lot of rainy day fun. If it is really our belief that rainy days are lousy days, then we will always greet rain with a sinking heart. We will fight the day rather than flow with what is happening in the moment. If we want a joyous life, we must think joyous thoughts. If we want a propsperous life, we must think prosperous thoughts. If we want a loving life, we must think loving thoughts. Whatever we send out mentally or verbally will come back to us in like form.

THE POINT OF POWER IS ALWAYS IN THE PRESENT MOMENT.」p36-You can heal your life by Louise L.Hay


According to the Modern physics, all the substances including wave are Energy itself. Thought can not be exceptional. Whatever I have in my mind and brain is working as Energy and that Energy is responding in a way. The Good response is upto the Good energy which is the very good thought. What if the reponse is too late for me to feel nothing? So what? At least I don't have to distort my face that causes stupid wrinkles (oh no, please).

Before getting the response of energies, A thought is no more than the thought. I can smile and laugh with thinking positive and good. How great it is! I can be happy, by thinking only.

Be my gomnara 2

Here I appoint Google blog (blogspot) as my 2nd place.