I can touch the crowd but I don't need affecting by the crowd.

"Nice to see you. Although it's the first time to see you, I'd like to tell you you have the very favorable impression. You look good."

I found a smiling guy at the dry atmosphere by which I was almost swallowed up. In spite of the first time, he was the most comfortable to me. By the way, when I said that, another guy next to him told "He should be happy and smile as he doesn't have a lot of working to do." Seemed everybody agreed to that and they laughed. I don't know exactly how much working he has but I do know that's not because of that.

"I think he could be free from the working as he is happy. He is still happy with the amount of working. So following job is reluctant to reach him. But you guys, you look unhappy, so working thinks you need more and more to be happy. That's why there's never-ending working approaching you."

Not sure they heard that or not since they kept laughing at the nice guy who has little working.(zero idea how come they laughed at him, are they jealous or something? What if there's only 1 person who works a lot with a drawn face? The crowd mind affects the feeling too much. :@)

No matter what, it's true the smiling guy will not have more works that now as long as he stays happy. Me neither. ;)

True and Truth

Focus to make my own TRUTH not the true made or defined by other people or environment.

We have beliefs through the life experience. Some beliefs get us stuck in the pattern that is an obstacle to our taking wish. Even though those beliefs or faiths are not A help at all, many people stay there and support that. Because that's what they believe as true.

Think about babies. They have less experiences that adults (of course we've been through the period of babies). They always ask and express how they feel and what they need with all ways that they can do. But as growing, babies also see more and hear more and feel more. In the end, most of them are surrounded by the trues which were not created by themselves like us.
It's so shame.

Actually it doesn't say that they are related with my owns existing and to happen later,because others create their true in their way. In the world, there are innumerable trues including some that I have made and don't wish. No need frustrated because of the true. Since this is my life, I need my truth for my life.

The clearer I need to see what I am wishing, what I am asking, the faster and the more my truth will be built so that I can stay happy and nice.


Stereo type or Prejudice is not only for Black and White / Man and Woman also My thought and Others' thought.

The people

The people who make me like to listen to their everything.
The people who make me like to talk about my everything to them.
Both.

Strong wish

Wish and do not stay there. Just let it flow.
Our wish is Universe's command - Universe will feedback in a way if it takes it as our wish.

To remain thinking is a kind of symbol that I have a doubt or concern even a little. If I perfectly believe it will happen anytime, no need to stick to of the wish. Because no matter what It will take place.

Important thing is Wish, not think or concern. Yes, it is.

A dumb fish

I was introduced a book written by Mr. Fish saying how was Mr.Fish's life for 230days in US after laid off in Korea. This book is categorized as travel journal group but rather be Diary-Non fiction. Exciting. (Thanks HJ)

Some pages tell me his English is not bad, others tell me he had a trouble to live in US due largely to English.

#In NY, a big black shouted "Fucking garbage tourists, keep your ass at home all day long with the fucking terrible English".
He was surprised and looked around. What a shame... only him there. He has no idea it's to him otherwise the black was just upset and talked himself. Anyway he was also not comfortable with those fucking words. he shouted back with the hip-hop musicians' name that he knows all. The black was standing there saying nothing but seemed embarrassed enough. Mr.Fish just wants to let him know He is not fucking garbage tourists by speaking out the alphabet.#

By going through those experiences, he was seriously tired and sick of using English. Sometimes I feel same when having the conversation in English (Personal & Business), if I am surprised, embarrassed or insane, suddenly every alphabet is out of my brain and mouth. Nothing goes to my ears, nothing comes out from my mouth. Here's the similar Mr.Fish's story.

[Only 4 days from the start make me totally exhausted and depressed in
spirits. It seems I would be never able to see Dead-End and the desolate plain
next to the road jumps to my loneliness. Particularly it was L.A.N.G.U.A.G.E
that makes me tired at the lightening speed.
Ask the way as I may, Order
foods in a restaurant as I may, Nobody understood my English and they even
ignored me. The more I was isolated, the more I can not deliver what I want to
others. Although people say "No", I was becoming a fool. In the end, I didn't
want to talk to anybody longer. No matter what, they never catch my words.

When I arrived at Barsto located at the end of East-California,
darkness fell upon the city.
I had no time to spare and just entered the
motel found first. Without greeting, I torn a note and wrote "Any room
available?" and showed him at the desk. He looked at me weird and said Yes but
still seemed against me since my action was quite strange. Asked me again "Are
you alone?" I wrote down "Yes, I'm alone" by using the note. After a while, a
big lady came out and stole a glance at me. They talked to each other, I
couldn't understand but I knew they were talking about me. -_-


I put down again and thrust it before their eyes.

"I can not speak but listen. I would like to stay here one night of my
travel now. How much does it cost?"

They finally got it and gave me a warm smile and... poured words like 'felt
strange since you don't talk, where do you come from, where are you going to,
are you alone, blah blah.. ' All the questions were answered by notes written by
me. It seems they were excited to experience that situation like soap opera.. so
kept asking me. :'( Fortunately they found me looked tired and gave me a room
key.

They provided me with the room at the unbelievably cheap price and the
mildest smile for good night. When I arrived at the door, I found there's a
sticker for the handicapped. The room was big enough for every wheel-chair can
pass through and has a big bathroom. I deceived the old couple by saying nothing
with my selfishness. In spite of that fact, I didn't have a guilty
conscience. I was so tired that I forgot how to speak. ]

Not only English.
Even though I use my mother tongue, writing is much better than speaking. So do I. Some talks that I have a difficulty to speak directly rather be delivered in written. I do that a lot and have thought why, why, why. And my answer is... I just don't want to face the immediate response after my talk. At least for me, it is kind of foul play.

I will learn again how to speak.
I will learn how to face.

How to speak

On reflection, I have not been that bad, I mean my situation or could be my life.
I can do everything I want and I don't need to do anything I don't want.
However, this vacation has made me think that what I knew is seriously a little and there's technically nothing I have well-known.

Therefore, I have to learn everything from the very beginning.
How to speak not like my style I have used,
How to eat what I have been reluctant to eat,
How to neatly fold clothes ,
How to cleanly put away bedding,
How to efficiently unpack the luggage,
Everything I have to learn from the very beginning.

I have been tangled in a wreck like the wires located around PC and peripheral devices there.
I am a bit afraid now that I think I need to do that for myself while palpitating with the new learning in front of me.

World Peace

A musician named Kim has mentioned before on the TV show "My hope and wish is WORLD PEACE." The interviewer was back with laughing and asked "Are you serious?" Mr. Kim said that

" If Everyone wishes eagerly WORLD PEACE with all their heart, It is not the super-future story, it would already come true. Because people is not seriously taking the peace of world where they live as their own, it is still in the water. Everyday, Everybody says "I wish world peace." at least one time, it must be going to come true, I have no doubt there."

Farting in the elevator

I met this funny story on middle school days but still remember, it ROCKS.

In an elevator,

˚ Ooops, Embarrassment。

Elevator is crowded with a lot of people but the gas is about to be released expected to be very stinky.

˚ Thanks God, Fortune。

Before farting, all the people get off the elevator.

˚ Wow, Indescribable Joy。

Fresh farting with peace of mind.

˚ What a shame, Shame。

Before the smell is gone, another gets on.

˚ Save me, Pain。

'That' another breaks wind - killer farting

˚ Hey you, Anger。

'That' farting guy neglects his farting and his smell.

˚ Lonely, Solitude。

After the farting guy gets off, I smell still his trace.

˚ No, Mortification。

Another gets on before the stinky disappeared and makes frown on her face.

˚ No No, Resentment。

With finger point, a boy tells his mother "Mom, he must have farted"

A Blubber

[8] I am 8 years old.
On the bus No.12, pretended to be cool, I was ready to get off the bus late and I missed my stop by due and I stepped out of the bus at the next stop which is the last stop of the journey. On the way to be back home by following the way bus went through, I kept crying with a beast sound ' WOO-ANG WOO-ANG'. It was absolutely the tears driven by fears. (I must have spent the spare money for taking a junk food in front of the school..)

[18] I am 18 years old.
Prepared for the chorus festival for almost half year. I was not the professional vocalists and had no idea on the chorus. But I just liked to sing and it's very interesting to tune the music with others. So I enjoyed preparing for our festival. Getting an Encore after the last song, we hugged each other and cried by encouraging "Good Job". It was unexpected tears driven by Joy and Happiness.

[24] I am 24 years old.
Before completing the graduation point, I jumped into the society having job which was more sudden than a shower. On the very 1st day, I cried in front of a dormitory housemother and in the train. It was never stopping tears driven by fright and resistance. (Since then, 3 months I had cried in the bathroom - stupid tears)

[27] I am 27 years old.
A project was on myself which was absolutely beyond my capability, I felt. On the biz trip for that (it's like disaster / adventure) Delay of 1st flight, Inspection of the customs, Missing of 2nd flight. I was anxious and nervous all the time. I don't remember exactly how we did but in a way we made it on plan. Releasing all the anxiety and having a little achievement, I drank a lot (Gao Liang Jiu) and cried and cried and cried driven by... what??.


[now] I am just 29 years old.
I found me that was hidden for a long time (hidden too deeply, even I didn't know where to hide). Finding myself made me crying like a tap which is out of order although I tried not to show the others that. It was the tears, my real tears.

Genuine and Fake

I happened to find an interesting test provided by BBC whose title is "Spot the fake smile". I Got 15 points out of 20. Although this is nothing to do with IQ thing, I noticed that people having this test are eager to get the higher score. Me? Not different. I am not disappointed with the score but supposing I get 20 points almost, I would be more than happy. ;)

My focusing point was LIPS of the people smiling as I don't forget hearing when people smile fake, the right side of lips is a little higher than left one at the mean time I was pretty happy now that I found myself being not able to get the right side of lips higher than left - stupid, but true.. hehe - Hence, when I couldn't figure it out easily during this test, I paid attention to their lips. But seems it's not perfectly matching (turned it out my stupid thought previously was shame shame, what a shame.. LoL) Anyway, I got a note from BBC checking the result. It's very interesting.

「Most people are surprisingly bad at spotting fake smiles. (There are 10 genuine and 10 fake / I was wrong with 2 genuine / 3 fake) One possible explanation for this is that it may be easier for people to get along if they don't always know what others are really feeling. Although fake smiles often look very similar to genuine smiles, they are actually slightly different, because they are brought about by different muscles, which are controlled by different parts of the brain. Fake smiles can be performed at will, because the brain signals that create them come from the conscious part of the brain and prompt the zygomaticus major muscles in the cheeks to contract. These are the muscles that pull the corners of the mouth outwards.

Genuine smiles, on the other hand, are generated by the unconscious brain, so are automatic. When people feel pleasure, signals pass through the part of the brain that processes emotion. As well as making the mouth muscles move, the muscles that raise the cheeks – the orbiculares oculi and the pars orbitals – also contract, making the eyes crease up, and the eyebrows dip slightly. Lines around the eyes do sometimes appear in intense fake smiles, and the cheeks may bunch up, making it look as if the eyes are contracting and the smile is genuine. But there are a few key signs that distinguish these smiles from real ones. For example, when a smile is genuine, the eye cover fold - the fleshy part of the eye between the eyebrow and the
eyelid - moves downwards and the end of the eyebrows dip slightly.」

Without any idea towards another's thought, we may seriously easily get along with them as we don't need to afraid of the feedback following like babies. They think they are a center of the universe. They locate themselves at the main position of every case. But adults like us think too much about the others' thinking. It could be because they don't want to hurt or they don't want to be hurt or blamed.

Given we focus on ourselves, it must be even easier to get along with people around us.