flow.

A secret must be somewhere.

Not every time, but when I chase things, they seem run away. When I desperately need something, I get everything except that. Looks like.. whenever I am desperate for anything - for someone to call, for winning lottery, for getting people happy - do I create an energy around myself that pushes it away?
The more emotional I am about things, the less control I have.

How do I avoid being desperate when I am desperate? Naturally.. naturally. Since natural is "balance", it doesn't understand desperation. Of course, I can not be desperate when I am balanced.I do understand what the definition of "Natural" but have yet to go several steps more to be in line with "Natural".

Remember. Let it go, let it flow that doesn't mean I am indifferent there but just I am not forcing things.

OK, reach here, and then..?
let's see.

PS. again, I am terribly sorry for the thing happening this morning. looks like I am as nervous as you are for this special day. let me allow to prepare high-quality tissue paper and deal with it.